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Showing posts from 2019

NEWS

It's no longer news a dog biting a human being but it's great news when a man bites a dog.                                                                                              .COMEDY DON.

WHO IS A GIRLFRIEND?

Girlfriend is an addition of problems, subtraction of cash, multiplication of enemies, and finally division of relatives and friends. Give in ready luxuries (GIRL).               .COMEDY DON.                                                                                

HOW A MAN SHOULD SPEND HIS CASH?

You become a womanizer, you acquire STDs. You decide to spend your cash in alcohol, the liver and kidney are affected or damaged. You decide to smoke, then lungs are affected. You decide to spend your cash on purchasing sports cars and other cars, cause accidents and then death. You decide to spend your time on the Internet, then you spoil your eyes. You decide to listen to music, then your ears are affected. which part of our body are we going to use in order to enjoy our cash?  For me, I came up with a solution which sleeping. I have never heard that somebody died of sleeping.                                                 . COMEDY DON.

UGLY BABY BORN THREE

Our home became very busy due to the people who were coming in to see what my parents have given birth to. I became a tourist attractor and our lives changed positively because tourists were paying to see me( ugly baby born part three). thanks for reading, please comment, subscribe and you will not miss our joke.                                                                                                                                                         .  COMEDY DON.

UGLY BABY BORN TWO

After several days in the hospital, my parents carried me home. On reaching home, neighbours came to see the new born baby and what i could hear was people saying God forbid and a question, Are you sure there was no misplacement of children in the hospital?           .COMEDY DON.

INTERVIEW WITH USAIN BOLT.

Interviewer:  Usain what makes you the best runner?  Usain:  My enemy helps me to be the best runner.  Interviewer:  What do you mean? Usain:  Have you ever been chased by poverty? Interviewer:   No. Usain:  When poverty is chasing you, you will run like me or even faster.            .COMEDY DON.

AFRICANS ON THE RUN

Africans are the best runners, do you know why? it's because poverty has been chasing them for centuries and therefore they have learned how to create a gap between them and poverty. In Europe running is a game while in Africa, running is just escaping from poverty.                           .COMEDY DON.

UGLY BABY BORN

On the day I was born two things happened,  first, my mother didn't recognize me and finally, when my father came to the hospital he looked at me in different directions and asked, honey what's this you gave birth to? I'm sorry darling I can't tell answered my mother.   Thanks for reading please comment and subscribe to our blog and you will not miss laughing with us.             .COMEDY DON.

BRIGHT FUTURE

Friends you have plays a big role in your future, mine is brighter because of the friends I have. And these are my friends: Joe works as a coffin maker, Jacobs works as a gravedigger, Melina works as a funeral mourner, and mac works as a tomb decorator. I wish you could have such friends like mine, I'm blessed. Thanks for reading my series, please comment, subscribe to our blog and you will not miss laughing with us .             . COMEDY DON.

STUDENT'S ARGUMENT

A teacher entered the classroom and found two students arguing about the evolution of man. Then he asked the students, how man came into existence?  A white student answered God created man from the sand. A black student answered, man, evolved from a monkey family.  Teacher, you are all right depending on the surrounding circumstances. Thanks for reading, please comment, subscribe and you will not miss our comedy series.      . COMEDY DON.

GOD'S IMAGE

As I was walking on the streets of my city, I met a child,  then a man, then a rastaman, then a drug addict, then a mad man, and finally I recalled that all these guys were made in God's image.      COMEDY DON

FAMILY MEETING

The other time I visited a game park, I witnessed a fight,  a Lion fighting a Tiger, then a Puma joined, then Cheetah, Leopard, Jaguar, liger, Snow leopard, Black panther, Feline, Smilodon, Caracal, Clouded leopard, Wildcat, Serval, Siamese, Leopard cat, margay and finally the Cat joined the fight. But if you too think that it was a fight then your wrong. it was a family meeting. Please comment, subscribe to our blog and you will not miss laughing.          .COMEDY DON.

A LIAR

A true liar convinces the entire courtroom including the judge, and the case is judged based on his lies. And to make matters worse he's paid for that, I'm sorry guys I meant lawyer.                       . COMEDY DON .

MAGICAL CONVERSATION

One day God came to the garden of Eden and surprisingly He met the devil in the garden. God: What are you doing in my garden? devil: I was invited. God: invited, by who? devil: By your so-called children. God: How do you convince my children to become your followers? devil: Hahaha. devil: Not me but them convincing me to become their follower.         . COMEDY DON.

EVE'S QUESTIONS

Eve: do you love me? Adam: yes I love you, dear. Eve: why do you love me? Adam: because you're a bone of my bone Eve: Have you ever cheated on me? Adam:.....................................

TOOL STORE

I used to ask myself as to why women like being in the kitchen than anywhere in the house? until I came to know that all weapons or tools are kept in the kitchen for example knives, frying pans, folks, gas, and many others. So in case of a war, they are prepared.

COURT

Judge.you will be judged according to the quantity of your crime. Thief one. I stole one matchbox. Judge. you're hereby sentenced to 29 years in prison with hard labor. Thief two. I stole a tray of eggs. Judge. you're hereby sentenced to thirty years in prison with light labor. Thief three. I stole one car. Judge. you're hereby sentenced to one year in prison.                                                                                 COMEDY  DON 

FAMILY DISCUSSION

1. Son asked his father, how people came into existence? 2, Father, God created  Adam and Eve then later they had their children. 1. Son, oh thanks Daddy now I know. 2.Ok, son. 1. Son now went and asked his mother the same question. 3. mother answered people evaluated from a monkey family. 1. Son returns to his father and asked daddy why did you lie to me? 2. father, about what? 1.Son, about how people came into existence? 1. Son, mom said that people evolved from a monkey family. 2. Father, oh she was telling you about her family's evolution.      Thanks for reading, please comment, subscribe and you will not miss a joke from us.                                                                                                  .Comedy Don.

PERFECT DAUGHTER

Mom. I have a perfect and responsible daughter. Friend. Does she smoke? Mom. No, she doesn't smoke. Friend. Does she drink alcohol?  Mom. No, she doesn't drink at all. Friend. Her boyfriend is very lucky. Mom. She has no boyfriend yet. Friend.  As she ever came home late? Mom. No, if she's to go out, I always go with her. Friend. You really have a good daughter. Mom. Yes, I do. Friend. I wish she could be my daughter-inlaw. Mom. You will have to wait for the next 18 years. Friend. What do you mean? Mom. Because she is only six months old.  Thanks for reading, please comment and subscribe to our blog and you will never miss a joke from us.                                                                     .COMEDY DON.

FAMILY CONVERSATION

Wife: you men are lucky. Husband: what do you mean baby? Wife:  men don't have to carry the pregnancy. Husband:  you women carry a pregnancy for only nine months and your complaining. Wife:  what do you mean baby? Husband: we men carry pregnancies all our lives. Thanks for reading, please comment and subscribe to our blog and you will never miss laughing with us.   COMEDY BLOG.

CONCUBINE

I have searched for a wife for centuries but failed to get one, now I'm looking for a concubine maybe this time I'll be lucky. Thanks for reading, comment, subscribe to our blog and you will not miss laughing with us.                                                                                                                      .Comedy Don .

PRISION

Marriage is an institution where only the woman is the beneficiary and while the man is the loser.please comment, subscribe to our blog and you will not miss laughing with us.                                                           .Comedy Don.

MAN

By the time man becomes wise enough to watch his foot steps, he is too old to go anywhere. please comment, subscribe to our blog and you will not miss to laugh with us.                                                                          .Comedy Don.

FOOTBALL

Football is the most funniest sport in the world, do you know why? It's because twenty mature men chases one ball, two standing in the goal posts doing nothing.And to make it more funny that's when the goalkeeper uses his  hands to catch the ball but it's called football.                                                                                                                       .Comedy Don.

BUSINESS MAN

One day a business man comes home and finds his wife crying, he asked honey why are you crying? i hardly see you home dear answered the wife. I'll take more photos so that you can look at them when I'm away said the business man.Thanks for reading, please comment, subscribe and you will not miss to laugh with us.                                                                                                                                                                            .Comedy Don.

A FUNNY SIGN POST!!!

As I was walking through my city, I came across a signpost that read, " If you don't know how to read and write please call this number". To whom is the signpost addressed to? Please comment, subscribe and you will not Miss our jokes to come .

A MILLION

In order to make a million-dollar, you need to have a million-dollar first. Thanks for reading, comment, subscribe and you will never a joke.    Comedy Blog.

LAWYER

Who is a lawyer? a person who tells lies to the judge and the entire court. A lawyer is a criminal who defends criminals in the court of law. A lawyer is a true liar. Thanks for reading please comment, subscribe and you will not miss laughing with me.                                                                                                               COMEDY DON

GREEDY WOMEN

I have enough clothes, enough shoes, enough cars, enough sex, enough cash on my bank account, I have made enough tours, therefore, I don't need anything more said a woman!          .COMEDY DON.

CHEATING

If a woman finds out that her husband is cheating her with another woman, it pains her, But how does she feel when the husband is cheating her with a man?

MODERNIZED SLAVERY

Centuries ago slave traders traveled to Africa for goods, shipped them to Europe and America. And slave masters could go to the slavery market to buy slaves. Today the process is simple and cheaper not as before, embassies have been put in place where slaves buy visas and air tickets by themselves and fly to the lands of slavery to serve as slaves. Thanks for reading, please comment, subscribe and you will not miss laughing with me.                                                   Comedy Blog.

ALCOHOL DREAMS.

A  man knocks on different doors in the neighborhood asking for help to pass the night there but all of them rejected him. Finally, he knocks on the last door and a woman opens it, he asks her, woman please help me I have knocked all doors in this neighborhood and no one seems to help me. please can I pass a night here, come in please we have been waiting for you, children please come and help me to carry your father to bed again is drunk.                                          Comedy Don.

DURING WAR

This happened during the war period, two soldiers were running after another because fighter jets were bombing everywhere. One soldier asked his colleague how many jets are bombing us? if you want to know then stop running and start counting them answered the colleague. please comment, subscribe and you will not miss laughing with me.                                                                                                                      Comedy Don.

A FUNNY APPLE SELLER

A grandma seated at a roadside selling apples.  Buyer: How much are you selling your apples grandma?  Grandma: Two dollars a kilogram. Buyer: How many kilograms remaining with you?  Grandma: Five-kilograms.  Buyer:- I'm buying all.  Grand ma : No  i can't sell all  of them to you. Buyer: Why?  Grand ma : Because nothing will be left for me to sell tomorrow! Thanks for reading, please comment, subscribe to my blog and you will always laugh with  me.                                                                                       .COMEDY DON.

CLEANEST CITIES IN THE WORLD

Americans and  Europeans like taking tours or vacations to the following countries Pakistan, Qatar, Bangladesh, Iran, India, Egypt, Mongolia, Bahrain, and others. Do you know why? It's because they want to experience how to live in a very dirty country or environment. They are living in clean cities or environment so they looking for something new or adventure.                                                              Comedy Don.

GIFT OF POVERTY

Good morning guys, I was born and raised up in a poor family. We could hardly afford a meal in a day, we were so poor that even rats and cockroaches ran away from our home because they had nothing to eat there. But we were not the only poor family in our village and that's what kept us living. we had one family car called legezine, We were so poor that when my dad and mom fall sick, we sold all that we had but we couldn't rise even ten dollars and finally, dad and mom passed on because of poverty. Thanks for reading, comment, subscribe and you will not miss laughing with us.                                                                                                                            Comedy Don.

SEEING,HEARING AND SPEAKING IS NOT A CRIME

Once there lived two good friends, Paul and Jacob. They lived together and they had some natural problems, Paul was both blind and dumb, he worked as a translator and his hobbies were watching movies, reading novels, singing and cooking. While Jacob was both deaf and dumb, he worked as a music teacher and his hobbies were listening to music, singing, and a poem writer. Every evening they could sit down, one listening to music while the other watching movies. One evening after work the two friends decided to go shopping, on reaching the market, it was too late because the sellers had almost left except one man who was still standing and he had all that they wanted to buy. They approached him and asked for the prices but he couldn't respond to them because he was blind, deaf, and dumb. And that's why he was still standing because he couldn't see, hear or talk. Please comment, like, subscribe and you will not miss laughing with me.                                             

TECHNOLOGY

Good morning guys, technology has conquered the entire world, do you know that even robbers use technology in robbing banks. If you think it's not true then read about the 2016 Bangladesh 81 millions bank heist and you will be surprised to know that there was no manual force used to rob the bank, only technology was used for example computer and the Internet was the tools used in the Bangladesh bank heist, very cheap and there is no risk of losing lives. I like technology because it's cheaper and convenient. Please, comment, like, subscribe and you always laugh with me.                                                           Comedy Don.

mathmatical problems

I remember those days in school, mathematicians you need to solve or find some solutions to mathematical problems. For example  5x + 4- 6= 25  find the value of x? Already x is there and why do I have to find it? Guys just get serious x is already there and again your telling me to find x, that's pure madness. That's why I ran away from mathematical classes because I didn't want to find what's not hidden. read, comment, subscribe and you will not miss laughing with me.         .Comedy Don.                                                                                                            

BIRTHDAY GIFTS

Good morning, be care full on your birthday and the gifts your friends and relatives are giving you. Because there is a meaning or a secret behind all those gifts. And these are gifts you need to be aware of, Toothbrush or toothpaste, it means that you have a problem with your mouth or teeth, if you're given a watch as a birthday gift then it means that you can't keep appointments or your ever late for meetings, appointments and always late for work. Perfumes, soap, if you receive perfume as a birthday gift, it's personal and it means that you stink. If your girlfriend  or boyfriend gives you pants and bras as birthday present then check on what you been putting on. and you will be surprised. Thanks for laughing with me, please visit my blog tomorrow to laugh with me again. Comment, subscribe and you will not miss my jokes.                                                                                                                                             Da Don.

THE CALL!

 One day as I was sleeping, my phone rang, I picked the call and guess who called me. Her majesty the queen of  England called me for a meeting and I thought it was a joke. The following morning I was told that the queen had sent a private jet to pick me. Then later that day I took the flight to meet the queen, on my arrival I received VIP treatment and driven to Buckingham Palace where I meet the queen. Behind the closed doors, me, the British prime minister, the Commonwealth heads of states, and the queen we discussed a lot including the retiring of the queen as leader of the commonwealth states. Then in a surprise, my name was put forward and elected to replace the queen as the new commonwealth leader. As the new commonwealth leader, I was the happiest man on planet earth. It was very annoying only to discover that it was just a dream. There is nothing good about dreams. please comment, share, click on the like button if you find it interesting, follow comedy don and believe me you

PRAYERS

Good evening to all those who are reading my comedy series. just imagine that the all nation is praying for you to live longer, how will you feel? how long will you live? ask the queen of  England. long live the queen, That's why I doubt whether God is listening to my prayers that I always pray alone. if you would like to live longer please ask or contact the British to put you in their national anthem.

FIRST MAN EVER TO FAIL EXAMS

God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the garden of Eden, He gave them a variety of what to eat and only one tree which was in the center of the garden they were not supposed to eat fruits from it. But as fool as Adam, he waited until Eve tasted the forbidden fruit became wiser, and later she gave fruits to the fool too. Although Adam tasted the forbidden fruit, he was still a fool because he became the first man ever to fail exams, God asked him a simple question concerning his whereabouts(geographical location) and this was Adam's answer I'm naked. God wanted to know his location but not his dressing status. Adam surprised God, and it was because of Adam's answer that made God punish mankind. If he had answered the question correctly, God shouldn't have known about Adam's eating of the forbidden fruit. Thanks for reading my first comedy.                    .comedy don.